from Canto V

141

Juan was moved: he had made up his mind
    To be impaled, or quartered as a dish
For dogs, or to be slain with pangs refined,
     Or thrown to lions, or made baits for fish,
And thus heroically stood resigned,
     Rather than sin—except to his own wish:
But all his great preparatives for dying
Dissolved like snow before a woman crying.

142

As through his palms Bob Acres’ valour oozed,
     So Juan’s virtue ebbed, I know not how;
And first he wondered why he had refused;
     And then, if matters could be made up now;
And next his savage virtue he accused,
     Just as a friar may accuse his vow,
Or as a dame repents her of her oath,
Which mostly ends in some small breach of both.

143

So he began to stammer some excuses;
     But words are not enough in such a matter,
Although you borrowed all that e’er the muses
    Have sung, or even a Dandy’s dandiest chatter
Or all the figures Castlereagh abuses;
     Just as a languid smile began to flatter
His peace was making, but before he ventured
Further, old Baba rather briskly entered.

144

“Bride of the Sun! and Sister of the Moon!”
     (‘Twas thus he spake), “and Empress of the Earth!
Whose frown would put the spheres all out of tune,
     Whose smile makes all the planets dance with mirth,
Your slave brings tidings—he hopes not too soon—
     Which your sublime attention may be worth:
The Sun himself has sent me like a ray
To hint that he is coming up this way.”

145

“Is it,” exclaimed Gulbeyaz, “as you say?
     I wish to heaven he would not shine till morning!
But bid my women form the milky way.
     Hence, my old comet! give the stars due warning—
And, christian! mingle with them as you may,
    And as you’d have me pardon your past scorning—”
Here they were interrupted by a humming
Sound, and then by a cry, “the sultan’s coming!”

146

First came her damsels, a decorous file,
    And then his Highness’ eunuchs, black and white;
The train might reach a quarter of a mile:
     His majesty was always so polite
As to announce his visits a long while
     Before he came, especially at night;
For being the last wife of the emperor,
She was of course the favourite of the four.

147

His highness was a man of solemn port,
    Shawled to the nose, and bearded to the eyes,
Snatched from a prison to preside at court,
    His lately bowstrung brother caused his rise;
He was as good a sovereign of the sort
     As any mentioned in the histories
Of Cantemir, or Knolles, where few shine
Save Solyman, the glory of their line.

148

He went to mosque in state, and said his prayers
    With more than “Oriental scrupulosity”;
He left to his vizier all state affairs,
     And showed but little royal curiosity:
I know not if he had domestic cares—
     No process proved connubial animosity;
Four wives and twice five hundred maids, unseen,
Were ruled as calmly as a christian queen.

149

If now and then there happened a slight slip,
     Little was heard of criminal or crime;
The story scarcely passed a single lip—
     The sack and sea had settled all in time,
From which the secret nobody could rip:
     The Public knew no more than does this rhyme;
No scandals made the daily press a curse—
Morals were better, and the fish no worse.

150

He saw with his own eyes the moon was round,
     Was also certain that the earth was square,
Because he had journeyed fifty miles and found
     No sign that it was circular any where;
His empire also was without a bound:
     ‘Tis true, a little troubled here and there,
By rebel pachas, and encroaching giaours,
But then they never came to “the Seven Towers”;