from Canto XI

41

And insolence no doubt is what they are
     Employed for, since it is their daily labour,
In the dear offices of peace or war;
     And should you doubt, pray ask of your next neighbour,
When for a passport, or some other bar
     To freedom, he applied (a grief and a bore)
If he found not this spawn of tax-born riches,
Like lap-dogs, the least civil sons of b—s.

42

But Juan was received with much “empressement&8221;:
     These phrases of refinement I must borrow
From our next neighbour’s land, where, like a chessman,
     There is a move set down for joy or sorrow
Not only in mere talking, but the press. Man
     In islands is, it seems, downright and thorough,
More than on continents—as if the sea
(See Billingsgate) made even the tongue more free.

43

And yet the British “Damme”’s rather Attic:
     Your Continental oaths are but incontinent,
And turn on things which no Aristocratic
    Spirit would name, and therefore even I won’t anent
This subject quote; as it would be schismatic
    In politesse, and have a sound affronting in’t:—
But “Damme”’s quite ethereal, though too daring—
Platonic blasphemy, the soul of swearing.

44

For downright rudeness, ye may stay at home;
     For true or false politeness (and scarce that
Now) you may cross the blue deep and white foam—
     The first the emblem (rarely though) of what
You leave behind—the next of much you come
     To meet. However, ‘tis no time to chat
On general topics: poems must confine
Themselves to Unity, like this of mine.

45

In the Great World,—which being interpreted
    Meaneth the West or worst end of a city,
And about twice two thousand people bred
     By no means to be very wise or witty,
But to sit up while others lie in bed,
     And look down on the universe with pity,—
Juan, as an inveterate Patrician,
Was well received by persons of condition.

46

He was a bachelor, which is a matter
     Of import both to Virgin and to Bride;
The former’s hymeneal hopes to flatter;
     And (should she not hold fast by love or pride)
‘Tis also of some moment to the latter:
     A rib’s a thorn in a wed Gallant’s side,
Requires decorum, and is apt to double
The horrid sin—and what’s still worse, the trouble.

47

But Juan was a bachelor—of arts,
     And parts, and hearts: he danced and sung, and had
An air as sentimental as Mozart’s
     Softest of melodies; and could be sad
Or cheerful, without any “flaws or starts,”
     Just at the proper time; and though a lad,
Had seen the world—which is a curious sight,
And very much unlike what people write.

48

Fair virgins blushed upon him; wedded dames
     Bloomed also in less transitory hues;
For both commodities dwell by the Thames,
    The painting and the painted; youth, ceruse,
Against his heart preferred their usual claims,
     Such as no gentleman can quite refuse;
Daughters admired his dress, and pious mothers
Enquired his income, and if he had brothers.

49

The milliners who furnish “drapery Misses”
     Throughout the season, upon speculation
Of payment ere the honeymoon’s last kisses
    Have waned into a crescent’s coruscation,
Thought such an opportunity as this is,
     Of a rich foreigner’s initiation,
Not to be overlooked,—and gave such credit,
That future bridegrooms swore, and sighed, and paid it.

50

The Blues, that tender tribe, who sigh o’er sonnets,
     And with the pages of the last Review
Line the interior of their heads or bonnets,
     Advanced in all their azure’s highest hue:
They talked bad French of Spanish, and upon its
     Late authors asked him for a hint or two;
And which was softest, Russian or Castilian?
And whether in his travels he saw Ilion?